TAlk to me

For a bride-to-be like me, it would be wise to wonder. It would be wise to wonder if I am doing the right thing, and if this is it for me. I think that if I do, considering, it would be most normal, even a prerequisite; an honest part of a very delicate process.

I am right smack in the middle of one of the biggest events of my life and it would be right to want to step back a little and survey the room so-to-speak, before actually stepping inside and bathing in the all of it. I think that's total wisdom right there.

But just like right now, I find myself in one of the saddest part of the day, windows open, the skies suffused with the gloomiest color of grey I'd ever seen and yet I do not feel fear.

My heart is not racing.
I do not feel that deep longing that suffocates and stops the breathing,
that twinge of pain in the heart that has no basis, no source, but ever present--
all those all-too-familiar feelings induced by this time of day that's been constantly nagging, constantly there--

they're all gone.

I am on the brink of the point-of-no-return and yet in my heart is something solid. A certainty; a beautiful peace that I've yet to know and yet welcome, is there. And if that is some sort of language that is to be understood, then I take it to mean that I am on the right track; that here, right now, with this guy, is where I am supposed to be at. Right on target.