The Bug

I have not thought of myself as "the bride", gown, flowing material and all. Veil and flower. Make-up. Shoes.



But here I am.


I am in the exact place I've not thought myself to be and I wonder why life is like that, it seems to me that every direction mine has taken is off-kilter. Off my beat. Every little thing, the littlest detail is just plain opposite of the picture in my head.



I have never thought of myself as "the bride". I honor and respect the ritual, I quite understand the need for it, but not for me, no. I do not have the taste for it.



I've thought of myself married, yes. Living some happy wedded bliss well deserved by all those who take the plunge. Children? Oh, definitely. I know exactly the type of mom I will be. But the transition from here to that state was never clear to me. That part was always missing and I never thought to fill that blank.



But here I am.

A bride to be.

And being that I guess makes me all kinds of bride. I now epitomize all and every kind of bride there is, because if truth be told, I have now caught the bug. I admit that I spend most of my time playing The Sims 2 and Ravenhearst 2 rather than worrying about what color my entourage is going to wear or what my centerpieces are going to look like, but there it is, the bug has taken root and could not be shaken off. I now feel the excitement coursing through me and the thrill of being that girl on that day.

There is that day and I await it with great feeling. With very great feeling indeed.